Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Busy December Coming To An End

The month started off with my ....ummm errrrrr .... 29th birthday. Yes that's it 29th. I can say that for another 5 years then I'll have to come up with another number since my oldest will be caught up to me, LOL

My birthday led to Christmas followed by our anniversary and Alex and Lee's anniversary.

Alexandria and Lee on their wedding day. 
Yes you are seeing the dates correctly. The 4 of us had a double ceremony. Nothing fancy just the four of us and Maria was our shared witness.
Yes this month has been busy, busy, busy to say the least.

I was filled with the holiday blues and now have a sadness as my youngest has not yet called. I've grown use to this but in the end I know she is safe and living life. It still does not remove the emptiness from within me.

Maria and Alexandria 
Bruce and I on our wedding day. 

In the forthcoming days I will share a side of me that may shock some and hopefully encourage others.

For now I'll simply focus on tomorrow as Bruce and I share our anniversary together. 
Our 1st year married was filled with sadness.
Several months after we got married Bruce's father .. Dad - as I referred to him. I never felt right calling him Earl and to be honest I think he enjoyed my calling him, Dad ... took a terrible fall. 
At first we were not sure what was going to happen.
Prior to the fall he was fairly active for an 85 year old man. He had stopped driving due to cornea transplants and not being able to have full peripheral vision. Even that did not stop him from doing his woodworking projects.
After a series of events we had to make a heart wrenching decisions based on his sudden poor money management. We consulted a lawyer and started court procedures. 
It was after this that the phone rang. It was Dad's cell phone calling but I did not answer the call. A few minutes after my sister-in-law called to say Dad's cell phone called her; she did not answer as well.

We were both miffed but chatted when she got another call from the home cleaning service saying that Dad did not answer the door when they went there.
Hmmm now we were miffed even more. I went ahead and called Dad's phone. A friend of his answered and said the ambulance was on the way. 
Dad had apparently fallen the night before and could not get up or call for help.

May ran into June and June ran into July. In total Dad hung in there for 6 weeks. 
His mind would come and go. He was sent from our local hospital to a specialty unit some 30 miles away. After 4 weeks it seemed like he was going to pull through. He was transferred to a rehab center to re-learn how to walk and eat. That lasted for 1 day. 
We arrived to find his face sloped and Dad was unresponsive. The nurses were not yet accustomed to how he was prior to his arrival and quite quickly sent him back to the specialty unit.

That night was one we shall never forget. Dad had a multi brain aneurysm that could not be fixed.  His advance directive was then activated. Not a pleasant night is an understatement to say the least.
The 4 of us were helpless and left with great sadness.

A few days later Dad was placed in a hospice with very loving and caring nurses. Less than 2 weeks passed we celebrated Dad's 86th birthday and shared every moment we could by his side. I would take the morning to afternoon leave for work. Bruce would go after work until after his brother would get there from work.
His brother and wife would sleep in the room with Dad until morning then leave from there for work.
This became our routine on a daily basis. We never knew when Dad might know us or not. 
In early July Dad just drifted off to join Mom and Leslie. Leslie is Bruce's sister who passed away as an infant.

So that was partially our 1st year. This past year was filled with Bruce settling Dad's estate. Not an easy task even though Dad .. or I should say Bruce's Mom had everything in place. Thankfully the estate was not as large as some but it was sizable nonetheless.  Everything became settled in mid October. I know that the heaviness on Bruce's shoulders has been lifted.

These past 2 years have been filled with emotions both good and bad, happiness and sadness and joy and uncertainty. 
Overall these past two years have been filled with love and support.

Tomorrow morning I will cook Bruce's breakfast with the same love that I do for every meal.
 The day will be a reminder of the love that we share.

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